“AUDERE-EST-FACERE” – March 20th 2013


So that’s it then, it’s over? Our entire seasons turned to shit because of 1 poxy week, a week in which we’ve played 3 games and lost the lot. we’ve blown it, we’ve only bloody done it again “AGAIN”

Or have we? is it over? Have we blown it?

Sunday I was angry, no really i was, if Thursday’s performance wasn’t bad enough, embarrassing humiliating even disgusting at least we had some relief, when the whistle blew as bad as it had been we’d still gone through, the relief at the end was felt by all, even me, and I wasn’t even watching. I was out, out out, meant to be having a good night out with the missus being entertained by Tottenham’s finest, we’ll maybe not our finest as like i already said i didn’t see the game, but never the less these fellas are regarded as Tottenham legends so i guess their Tottenham’s “second” finest
“Can you please welcome to stage The 1 The only…. CHAS AND DAVVVVVE”

But I wasn’t having a good time, I couldn’t enjoy it, as much as you lot watching at home the pub or even in Milan none of us was having a good time. Even when your out there’s no getting away from the score, you could see the glow off people’s phones in the audience as their checking for updates, yeah we was guilty of it as we’ll, had we scored in the first 10 minutes I’d av probably been able to relax, tap my feet clap my hands yet when I’m not even out the car and we’re 1 down, then at the bar 2 down, I’m starting to sweat, Chas and Dave ain’t even come on yet and I’m pissed off, how can i enjoy myself knowing what’s going on a 1000 miles away? i can see it as clear as day, I might not be able to actually see with my own beautiful eyes but Jesus I’m a Spurs fan. As good as these last few months have been I’m educated, I’ve been taught the Spurs way, I’ve a GCSE in maths and art, I’ve a life times experience a diploma and a full honours degree in this complex subject. Yet you don’t go to college or a university to learn this stuff, you don’t sit at a desk over a term or two, you learn this stuff as you go, you start to study this subject the moment your born, a footballs thrown in your direction while some adult is gurgling mumbling trying to rewind the clock as he thinks he can now talk baby talk coz he wants you to kick the ball.. Kick the ball? I can’t even stand up yet but this nutter wants me to kick the ball, later that day he’s sitting on the carpet with ya now asking to say “come on you Spurs” go on say it, say “come on you Spurs” first he’s asking me to kick a ball and I can’t even stand then he’s asking me to sing along with him whilst I lay here on this cold carpet “NAKED” but I can’t even speak, who the bloody hell is this genius? Oh, I see, i see now it all makes sense, this people is my “Dad” this is the bloke that’s gonna be my teacher my mentor he’s the bloke that’s gonna tell me all there is to know about “that” subject, that complex subject, that never ending story that is “Tottenham Hotspur”

So people I’ve now had years of this, years and years of it, we all have, that’s why I “can’t” relax and enjoy my night out we all know what the Mighty Yids are capable of. This should be a stroll in the park, a skipping through the long grass hand in hand moment, all lovely and nice but we’re 2 down and it ain’t even half time.

After conceding a 3rd we make it to extra time, not only that some how we’ve even bloody “Scored”.. .Fantastic! Now my moods changed, Chas and Dave are now belting out “Gertcha” and when Chas sings out the line Tottenham Hotspur couldn’t get 1 in he quickly follows it up with “I bloody hope we have tho” so I shout out like a excited kid “we have we have” people around me are now asking for the score, the glow of phones are now making a fresh appearance and there’s now a genuine buzz about the place………………. Not for long, oh Christ.. The drunk lads 2 rows down are all hugging each other as they think the games now over and we’ve lost 3-1 meaning we’ve still won, the missus is shouting down “NO it’s 4-1 and the games still going” you can see the confusion in the hall and even Dave whilst still strumming away on his guitar is also asking people in the front row for the score coz as he can see some things going on. I’m even getting direct message’s on my twitter from celebrity Spurs fan Anthony Costa telling me 2 minutes left, then finally what feels like the most horrendous 2 minutes of my life that’s it, it’s over “Full Time”


Yessssssssssssssssssssssss we’ve done it, it’s been awful, shocking, dreadful but we’ve done it, the drunk lads in front are now up and dancing both at the score and coz Chas and Dave are now doing the classics, ones shaking my hand mumbling baby talk or probably beer talk but either way he’s smiling, only NOW I can start enjoying my night out. With just a few songs left but the belters I’m now “happy” singing along and the relief I’m feeling is a joke.. “But don’t worry we’re through and that’s all what matters now”

Or at least I thought,
After the dust settles as much as the performance and score worried me we’ve got Fulham at home, we’re gonna come out all guns blazing and put what could have been the worst night in recent history behind us and tear 1 F-ing Fulham apart, get back on track and continue to extend that Gap between us the Chelsea pikeys and the nomads, the pikeys are more interested in mugging off the Spanish waiter and the nomads are off to Wales to play the Carling Cup winners who’ll give them a nice lesson in how to play the game.

Oh dear… oh dear oh dear… the less said about this weekend the better. Like I said Sunday I was angry, really pissed off. After the display in Milan we all thought we’d put on a display against the Spurs veterans, a proper performance and bag a nice 3 points. As we know none of that happened. Our performance on Sunday was shocking. So bad it’s brought the Milan display back into play and I’ve not even mentioned the kamikaze last 15 minutes at Anfield. So in my anger disappointment worry “and” concern I dared to ask “That” question, the question I’ve since discovered a certain group of Spurs fans say your not allowed to ask, and if you do your bang out of order and gonna be on the end of not only abuse but some absolute utter rubbish in terms of excuses. Unfortunately I’m not one of em, No I’m not, I don’t walk around with a bucket full of sand ready to stick my head into when the shit hits the fan, I’m not one of those Spurs fans that only looks for positives no matter what happens. I’m actually from this planet and not living with my head in the clouds coz as I’ve already said I am one of those Spurs fans that has the full honours degree, the diploma, the 40 years of learning listening seeing touching, I’ve done the practical work, not just in the classroom, but in the playground, the streets, over the training ground when I was a kid, the ground itself, at my dinner table, in my bed, at away grounds, in the car, on the phone, round my mates, at work, in the pub, round my Dads, whilst out shopping, laying by the pool, waiting at the cash machine, sitting in a cab, Ive done “my” education in this complex subject. I’ve been to so many games i couldn’t even begin to think how many, I’ve seen us win Cups and had the final whistle not been blown Ricky Villa would still be running, yet I’ve also seen some utter garbage too, in fact too many years to even wanna remember. So when it looks as though we might have turned the corner over the last few seasons, and as good as the last few months have been, and yes albeit it’s only been 1 week, and only 3 defeats, it’s the manner of these defeats that have me worried. Certain players have been so far below par I’m convinced they think they’re golfers, some are making awful mistakes, others aren’t scoring, and to be honest as cresty as this wave has been we’ve all ignored the fact it’s really only been Bale-Dinho scoring at all. Yet at the time well take that, course we will including me, but like i say these 3 games haven’t been good, so when Bale hasn’t scored and we haven’t won and team looks in a bit of a mess, dropped 6 points, let in 8 goals, still have the Pikeys City and Everton to play amongst others my “Fears” and “Concerns” of “this could be happening again” come to surface and in my disappointment and anger i feel I’ve the right to ask “That” question…

“Can some one remind my why we still didn’t buy a decent striker?”

Because like it or not, and if it had made any different or not? The fact remains should we fail “again” from being in a commanding position “again” you try to find out why? And the only real common theme is our lack of top strikers to help out.
Ok know one knew Adey was gonna be off with the fairies, we all hoped he’d found his true home, Know one knew Defoe would get injured and lose his rhythm and know one thought Dempsey was gonna be our only real alternative, our back up plan. Yet it’s been left up to 1 man to step up, and amazing as The Bale-Dinho is he’s been doing it alone.
We’ve had to bring him in off the wing where he takes the piss out of people whilst he creates chance after chance for absolutely anyone who wants one so he can try a score himself coz know one else is.

I’m gonna leave that debate up to you lot now, because a couple of days have now passed and believe it or not as each day goes by a little bit more optimism seems to return. Although we have a striker crisis, although some players are way off their game and although we’ve had a shocking week the truth is we “ARE” still a decent side, we still have Lloris Vertonghen Dembele Lennon and Bale playing well enough, So before I call for the return of hanging I’m taking a few more longer deeper breaths than usual, and along with a break due to International games (please boys don’t anyone get injured) I’m praying we can get this week out of our system, brush ourselves down and then crack on to the next game, Swansea away!

“But” should we screw this up, I want the “bucket of sand” boys to know that come the end of the season I will be posting my “bring back hanging” letter to parliament!

So the board better watch out…



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